Bali - Beaches + Surprise Dicks Edition

Selamat Datang!

A short* post since this first Sunday was a true blue full day of sweet, sweet nothing, general wanderings and settling in. Also a lot of eating and drinking. Because holiday, duh. 

*remember 'short' here means like 50 photos instead of 150, so. 

I have a very special introduction to make: this is Dayu - Queen of Nasi Goreng, Master of Mango, Keeper of the Villa and general all-round excellent lady in all things.

Our villa came with our own personal maid. Is that weird? I feel like that's weird. I know a lot of people come to Bali exactly for this kind of thing - to be pampered and treated like kings/queens for minimum $ but I have deep seated issues with being waited upon by a tiny Indonesian lady. I know it's her job, and it's probably a relatively well-paying, cushy and safe one; on one hand I get made tea/coffee, fresh juice and eggs each morning, my room cleaned every day, my underwear laundered and ironed (holla), my water bottle filled, and anything I want retrieved from the shops, but on the other hand...that's all an uncomfortably bad look for everyone involved.

One morning I started to clear up after breakfast and she was like "No no no no stop sit down!

One thing we didn't mind using Dayu for as well as some of our masseuses (did I mention that everyone got full body profesh massages nearly every day that also came with the villa??) was directions and advice.

Beaches to see, adventures to be booked, noodles to eat. 

General wanderings. 

Home sweet holiday home. 

Told you I'd take too many pictures of this. 

Normally others are the ones who wait for me, but alas.. 

Nothing will ever say 'holiday' quite like a good old palm tree. 
Bougainvillea loveliness.  

...right over a sewer. Oop. 

An interestingly mysterious, jungle-y restaurant on main street... 

A police station, I believe. 

You know how I was saying in the previous post how touristy Bali is basically just a playground for Australians. In case you didn't believe me - 

Seriously, guys. 

Time to put that private villa pool to good use. 

Bombing is serious business when nearly everyone is over 6ft. 

Boy hair sculpting.

You'll notice all my friends are delicate white lilies. I think this is why I spent so much time waiting for much sunscreen, so little time. 

Normal couple is normal.

Later, we went for one long-ass walk, in search of surf and sand. 

The road to the beach is narrow, curvy, jungle-y and an adventure in and of itself. Largely consisting of not dying via the crazy road "rules". 

Well, the post does have a dick theme I guess. 

We found the thing!

The problem with being Australian is that very few beaches live up to our standards. This one's sand was all grey, dull and well below par, but top marks for general holiday beach vibes. 

Super fancy beach things. 

As the sun went down the beach also provided some cloudtastic drama. 

Shoot and wave at the Balinese and you usually get a pic like this. 

Found: a beach club that covers the sand with GIANT BEAN BAGS. 


An awesome pirate ship kite. 




The team (sans moi) decided to walk aaaaaaaaaaaall the way back...I don't know which way we went.

Yes I do.

The way that has the shops with the wooden dicks.

Wait wat. 

No, really. 

In all shapes and sizes for all your...wooden dick needs! Bonus: they also double as bottle openers! Let's just agree to not wonder about what another use that "also" implies, mmkay? 

Other things that happen when a tiny Indonesian island is overrun with holidaying/partying Westerners: coming across a full-blown Frankenstein-themed theatre/cabaret restaurant run by a hyperactive Kiwi, serving giant pizzas and cocktails in IV bags. Supposedly for "two people" but to which we went hahaha! one each please, and complete with names like "Franken Libre", "Surgeon's Sling" and "Corpsopolitan". 

Still not joking. 

Alas my camera died (too many beach) but rest assured there were monsters, dancing with guitarists, syringe pens, skull mugs, acrobats, very berry smoothies and spiderwebs enough to go round. 

Apparently it's one of the best places in Seminyak, and we found it by accident. Seems to me we worked out how to Bali.

Until next time...

No comments:

Post a Comment